The Cliff Waltz
by LittleRedRuby
Summary: Her wolf was howling inside of her head. And she wanted to run.


Life sucked.

Well, that's what Ruby felt most of the time anyway, she had lived on a blissful state of obliviousness for 28 years, and when the curse was broken all the memories of her (past) life have come crashing down on her.

Putting a weight on her shoulders she hadn't felt in a long time.

First there was Peter, the first person she had ever loved, he had the sweetest smile and was really brave. He had her charmed right on the spot. But hell had to break loose and her wolf dominated her body, taking his life in mere seconds.

Then she found her mother, the amazing woman leader of a pack that taught her how to dominate the beast inside of her. That told her _"You are the wolf. And when you accept that, you will finally be in control."_ She wanted that control, she needed it. That first night running in the woods with her pack felt like nothing she had ever felt before, she felt free. When she looked her reflection in the water, she saw that this was the life she was meant to live, and that this is how the ones of her kind are supposed to feel. How they are supposed to survive.

But the Queen's knights have followed Snow, and her mom was craving blood, she couldn't let that happen, so she didn't, and she lost her mom in the process.

"_May you always run free beneath the moon's pale light_"

That was the kill that hurt the most, she still had many things to learn, but she couldn't let Snow die, and even though it hurt, it started to feel like that decision was the only viable option she had in that moment.

It still hurt like hell though.

So yeah, call her selfish, but she considered the curse a blessing most of the time, she missed her home in the enchanted forest, but she wasn't going to lie to herself, those 28 years without worrying about the wolf were a well deserved relief.

But that freedom though, that freedom she felt running through the woods in storybrooke after that horrible night with Spencer, felt more right that the one she felt when she was on her old homeland.

Maybe it was because she had something new to hold on to, _someone_ new to hold on to.

There was this pull towards Belle since the moment she first met her, and she made a fool of herself trying to get the conversation flowing between them _(call her a cab? Really? Come on now)_ But the pull was still present, and Ruby was terrified, because the people that got involved in her life always ended up hurt one way or another. She would do anything to protect Belle; even more of the biggest threat was herself.

But Belle always came to the dinner at 7:15 a.m to order pancakes before going to the library, so Ruby always had them ready for her on the bar table when she came in the morning. Every Friday afternoon she would help Belle cleaning up the library to finally open it to the public.

Ruby's new pastime became watching Belle read, it was the way she got so immersed on what she was reading, usually sitting Indian style and those bright blue eyes sparkling with curiosity, when she gathered the courage she asked Belle to read her something.

After a really hard day cleaning, they were sitting on the floor with their backs to some bookshelves, Ruby let herself be drowned in Belle's voice; she was reading a book she found on the foreigner author's section called "The Shadow of the Wind". By the third chapter Ruby was half interested, focusing more on the sound of Belle's voice than the actual story. When Belle got to the part about a "Cemetery of Forgotten Books" that apparently had every book that has ever been published, the girl let out a gasp of surprise, and Ruby could not help but giggle.

Belle stopped reading.

_Shit. _

"What's so funny?" She asked, with fake annoyance at being interrupted while she was reading.

"You gasped" Ruby stated, "About a fake place, that apparently has every book that has ever existed, sorry if I find it funny"

"Well you can blame me, a place like that sounds pretty amazing" Belle said, shoving Ruby playfully to the side, she laughed at the motion.

"Watch out, the big bad wolf can come out and demand payback" She joked. At first it wasn't easy to joke about her wolf around Belle, yeah she accepted that part of Ruby but there was fear in her eyes sometimes, and it broke Ruby's heart to see it.

That's why she took Belle to the woods when it was wolfs time.

But that's a story for another time.

"Go on, keep reading, I like your voice"

She was met with silence.

_Shit, shit, shit. Way to go Ruby. _

A few moments passed in silence.

"I know you do" said Belle, and Ruby froze. She started to get up when she felt a tug on her arm, a silent plea for her to stay.

"Come on Ruby, its ok" Ruby felt her world crashing down again, her heartbeat on her ears and the trembling of her hands. "Just one more chapter and we can go"

Ruby reluctantly sat down again.

A few more paragraphs of the book passed, but the tension between them was oppressive, and Ruby was losing her mind with each long second that passed. She could see the death grip Belle had on the book and knew she wasn't the only one uncomfortable with the whole situation.

"It's not the only thing I like, you know" She all but blurted out, turning her hands into fists, Belle's voice cut in the middle of a sentence, closing the book slowly.

"Is just" Ruby continued, running a hand trough her hair, "I like everything about you, not just your voice" She couldn't stop now.

"I like how you show up at 7:15 a.m at the dinner to order pancakes, and I like to have them ready for you, I like how much love you have for this place" She gestured with her hand around the library "And I like how I am able to help clean it up with you"

"I like watching you read, but I like it more when you read to me" She took a shuddering breath, her head concentrated on her hands in her lap, not being able to look into Belle's eyes.

She could feel a burning in her eyes, and it wasn't from tears, it was a familiar burning related to her wolf; her eyes were golden, she was sure of it, and that was…unusual to say the least. The full moon was a few weeks away still. This wasn't supposed to be happening right now.

_It's her; _she heard a voice echo inside her head.

"I like how you bite your lip when you are concentrated in something, and most of all, I just like how you make me feel more human when I am around you" Belle didn't say anything for five painful minutes, and Ruby couldn't take it anymore.

"I like you Belle, I like you a lot" She looked up, locking her gaze with Belle's, the other girl gasped when she saw her eyes, a bright liquid gold was boring into her soul.

But Ruby knew, just with looking at Belle, she knew she could never be hers.

"I…I can't Ruby"

"I know"

She had nothing left to do there, so she got out of the library, walking at an even pace to the woods.

Her wolf was howling inside her head, and she wanted to run.


End file.
